Without A Day

Somehow your first taste of blood

is an initiation. A cold hard truth

you live with

You nor I will ever forget

how momentous it felt to step over,

to only fall

I know all too well

how far I’ve fallen, how deep I’ve swam,

because I’m drowning

You know all too well

because your heart is lifeblood,

saving me

I hope this is redemption,

or something close, because

this is all I have to offer

Everything that’s said, the glances met,

every solitary moment,

means the world

MM 1993

I Was Bitter

Asked why I was bitter
I replied 'just look around'
Asked if you were better,
you left without a sound
We agreed to understand,
to put it all behind,
and to open up our eyes
to attempt to find

Just one answer in the nick of time
Just one reason why

Asked what I were thinking,
I wanted to explode
Asked me my opinion
and I wanted to let go
Leave this ugly place behind
and drop off of the earth
Try to forget it all for once
and go through some rebirth

MM 1993

Dragonfly

You are just like and effervescent light
You are just like my reason why
Light the sky just like a dragonfly
You are a part of me

I see you overcome the obstacles
Downplay all the struggles
You are just like a butterfly
Trying to break free

You are a part of me
There is no barrier in the world
It works so beautifully
It is mine and it is yours

You are a shining glimpse of my love
You are the world that I'm afraid of
You are the all or nothing
You are a part of me

This is our defining moment
For myself it is infinite
That will be forever yours
It will always be

MM 1993

Good Riddance

There's not a damn doubt
inside my tired mind
about that mortal chance
of running out of time
The time is for telling,
I spell it with my blood
It's more than a message
of my guilt-ridden love

It is something more
It is a part of me

There's not a damn doubt
in my clouded sight
that I am just your villain,
it is a shrouded plight
The time is unforgiving
and is so short with me
It's more than a confession,
it's trying to break free

MM 1993

Blame

I'm like a target,
the one for which you aim
I am the first one hit,
your purpose is to maim
It's like a bullet
when I hear you scream my name
It cuts right through my heart
and shatters me with pain

And then I bleed,
but I won't bleed for you
Not after all this time,
I think you know the truth
Like a scapegoat,
sort of like a punching bag
except I feel the blows
and the knife that's in my back

MM 1993

Cycle

Don't disappoint me,
I want to hold you far above
Show me your weakness,
I cannot justify that love
or rather adoration
that overburdens me inside,
that fights my better judgment
I feel so alive

Don't disappoint me
or stop that game inside my head
Tear down the barriers
to the layers of skin we've shed
Barriers secure me,
I protect them with my silence,
and it's so harmless
I cling to that secure sense

I want is so badly,
an acceptance that I never feel
I stumble for a word
to make this all have some appeal
So it all breaks down,
and it falls way beyond your help
I end up hating you
because I hate myself

MM 1993

Home

A stranger led me blind
took a dive into the sea
tore out my heart and mind
stood here and watched me bleed
He said that I could go
and then he tied me down
Stranger ripped out my eyes
told me to look around

This is your home now.

A stranger robbed me blind
claimed me to be his own
forbade to walk around
told me to feel at home
He left me cold and tired
denied me milk and bread
told me to stay alive
kicked me when I was dead

This is your home now.

MM 1993

The Blinds

My eyes feast upon the sunlight
sunlight forcing its way
through the blinds that hang against
that hang against my window

My eyes they focus on the fight
the fight to make it through a day
and I know somehow the sunlight
the sunlight knows the answers

I want to open up the blinds and let the light fall in
I want to open up the door and let it walk right in
If I pull myself together I could see right through the dark
Sometimes it's easier to sleep and so I pull myself apart

I do not want to go outside
outside to leave myself exposed 
to where my darkness comes to life
to life outside my window

There is nothing in the world
in the world I would rather do
than smash the glass of my window
break the glass and fall right through

I want to open up the blinds and let the light fall in
I want to open up the door and let it walk right in
If I pull myself together I could see right through the dark
Sometimes it's easier to sleep and so I pull myself apart

MM 1993

Tremble

I am carefully planning for that moment
a moment of a sick execution
It is a self-indulgent impatience
somehow an act of retribution
Higher self please stop me now
because I cannot sit it out
Higher self please hear me out
I cannot wait it out

If you could hear my heart beats
then you would know where my soul lies

I carefully plan to lay silent
but stillness falls to a tremble
when my thoughts converge on that moment
and I'm forced to remember
Higher self please stop me now
because insides are hollow
Higher self please hear me out
because there's no tomorrow

If you could hear my heart beats
then you would know where my soul lies

MM 1993