highway 27

driving so deliberately through the morning fog. star flies circled around my sight. breaking into the brilliant bleak sunshine. slowing down into new worlds. stopping and hearing birds sing made me want to stay. or at least roll the windows down to hear them.

i thought about all the times that i could have taken someone home. but was too blind or stupid or afraid. i thought about being mixed up and coming out again. a metamorphosis into enlightenment in the scope of a few miles. the new beauty of a forgotten place puts things into perspective.

a wanting for something bigger than the sphere around my head. taking myself back with music. getting myself back with a song. i wished that i had someone to share some thoughts. there's something about the way the light hits the landscape in the morning. there's something comforting about seeing this for miles ahead.

there's something about the way the miles are counting down. like your life running out of time. there's no time like the present to be so lonely. the wiser we get the harder it is to talk about it. like how two people sit in silence. like cats together with intersecting lines of sight.

the tears only come when you're alone. they're so fortified and held in tight. but released by something as simple as "the creation story". or "let it be". i can think of a few words to live by. i can see the road ahead and i'm happy to get to where i am going.

ancient position

i'm stuck here in this ancient position. the world keeps moving away from me. ways that i had fashioned myself sinking into the muck (or rising through). envisioning a fire burning away any chance that i had to redeem it (or see it through). erosion is happening every day and all the time. the landscape that i see the sun drift away over. is wrecked through the fumes. i can't quite get there to collect the ruins or survey the damage. all that i have are some used ideas about some place where i could have been. seeing life through the photographs. expressions marked like words in a book. this isn't a vision. as much as a commentary.

am/are a shadow

i am a shadow whose darkness recasts around my face when i speak

we are a shadow living in shades that gray what we once were

the day is a mountain so high we can't take the time to walk around it

the light is a dimming field as our eyes are closing

memories are moments spent never to be played again

steps are footprints vanishing there is no hope to retrace them

roads are traveled fast and then they turn onto blockades

the screen is a projection too convenient to ignore

the nights are like mortuaries for our increments of time

our sleep holds the meaning and our dreams hold the mourning

priorities are asteroids colliding around our universe

or standing like giant fortresses protecting grating nerves

passageway

i'm a spirit in the passageway. appearing and watching from afar. the gathering of angels singing over your head. the weeping of our brothers and sisters at your bed. held up like a state of suspension. a display of colors and cloudless sky. a comforting blue that soothes the pain both within and without. we talk about those memories and conversations. the idiosyncrasies that are both loved and mocked. like only a family can define. do continue to live and breathe.

countdown to extinction

sonn av krusher is playing our second to last show leading up to an "extended hiatus". the show is friday night in athens. i really don't know anyone in athens right now other than phil dwyer, who i haven't seen in years... so hopefully he can make it out. subrig destroyer is an amazing band, kind of like underground metal's answer to lungfish. i'm looking forward to the night, with the exception of the drive home from athens.

We're All Monsters

we are all monsters here- out to destroy each other- looking for holes in the surroundings- breaking from the inside-sickness!-

you are someone else's thought- lying there all broken and bleeding- give us a chance to catch our breath- wait for someone to pick you up-

all there in pieces marked with- labels and categories- claws tear and reassign- you are nothing without subtitles-

we will wait right here- we will destroy ourselves- before we take a step around you- we will stomp you into pieces-

and don't know that you are being picked apart? why don't you know that you are being picked apart?

listening for too long- bite your tongue until it bleeds- selective response- you are being torn apart-

what you have in hiding- unspoken but always there- all words now are true- we want to give them back to you-

dragged in

here we are assessing the damage. naivete unrestrained and vigorous. has brought everything down in flames. i'm really just an observer. a little scarred and a little smarter. not dead but not really living.