scheduled outage

scheduled outage my heart aches for it. broken fingers can't take the pain. sightlines abstracted clouds and sun. i am sorry but i don't want to be there. walking into a room with chains. those moments were never the same. you branded my ass with a twisted iron. i am shifting shapelessly away from you. the shrill voice of violence shreds. you down the spine and twists instead of tugs. you never forget that kind of shit.

bone structure

those moments standing so close. peering into the crevices and the lines come alive. sitting and watching wayward lines shifting. they told me everything that i need to know about you. like a child's face with so much uncertainty. we knew so little except what was coming. when your face bore a glow it showed. something too vital to restrain. i was an observer but not an active participant.

it's looking like chocolate kiss (www.myspace.com/chocolatekissatl) will be getting back together for a 1-off show in atlanta in july. bob had a plane ticket credit and wanted to use it to fly in from san diego for a show. the last time we played was in august of 2003.

we were a hard sell when we were together, but i think a few more people around town have appreciated us in the years since. i am really looking forward to getting back and playing the songs again. it's probably my favorite and the most satisfying music that i have been a part of.

it will be the full lineup with bass. we're looking at the earl on july 9th. if you've ever told me that you'd come out to one of my shows before, i'll be looking for you there.

Collector

after so many years it's clear. the reactions don't quite measure up. don't quite equal what formed the mold. moments are shadows gathering behind us. we stake our lives and our identities to them. dark shades of gray telling lies. you told me so much. little stories are self fulfilling prophecies. every moment of your mind is wrapped in cynicism. strangling.

last show

sonn av krusher's last show in friday night at drunken unicorn. maybe my last show ever. i like to say that whenever a band ends for me. i put my psyche into bands so the last thing i want to think about when they end is doing it again. who knows? it will be a good night though. us and hell comes to town and g.g. king (ex- carbonas). come on out and bring yer earplugs...

Television Soundtrack

watching the pictures on tv. going out with no sound. life illustrated so clearly. these are my most private moments. i am sitting on a plane. i wish i had the window seat. this moment so turbulent. i know it is certain death.

next to you again. i told you i had my fortune read. and i was told again and again. that the world does not move fast enough to hide its flaws

riding through the city. all day with no direction. i am stuck with these people. in the middle of their conversations. the least comfortable seat. like bullshit scraping the chalkboard. they should fucking take me home. if they want to do me favors. why don't you do me a favor?

i watched it happen. doors that closed behind them. is this your intimacy? or the shit you dragged behind you? did your world move fast enough. to keep your shit from dragging the ground?

~the world does not move fast enough to hide its flaws~

for my sister

as deep and as wide as the hole in my heart is. as much as the loss that i share. you've shown me the way of release and unlocked. something in that badge that i carried. and the anger that was attached. in your confrontation of so much greater depths. you showed me that there's something greater. in death you give the gift of new life. release.