Tremble

I am carefully planning for that moment
a moment of a sick execution
It is a self-indulgent impatience
somehow an act of retribution
Higher self please stop me now
because I cannot sit it out
Higher self please hear me out
I cannot wait it out

If you could hear my heart beats
then you would know where my soul lies

I carefully plan to lay silent
but stillness falls to a tremble
when my thoughts converge on that moment
and I'm forced to remember
Higher self please stop me now
because insides are hollow
Higher self please hear me out
because there's no tomorrow

If you could hear my heart beats
then you would know where my soul lies

MM 1993

Erase

I hold a fire up to my skin
I can feel it burn
Down to the wire it's looking grim
but the world it still turns
Can you tell me what it was that you said
that made me feel this way? 
How am I supposed to live dead- 
did I forget to say?

I force the water over my head
now I cannot breathe
I recall the skin that I've shed
so I plant the seed
There will be one fine day
when this is dead and gone
A heavy price to pay-
am I just a pawn?

Betray me once again
light a fire inside
Tell me I cannot win
taken for a ride
Slam me down on the floor
and piss on my face
Shove me in and lock the door
so I can erase

MM 1992

Godspeed

One day I felt like running knives across my broken wrists

One day I felt like smashing walls with my angry fists

There was a day when I woke up and realized the lies

There was a time when I cried out and wanted just to die

That time I fell a victim to the perils of this life
A broken man I wept for the end of all that strife
So much I wanted to give in but I could not let go
of the lies that I thought were true- what did I know?

The days fly me so fast I never stop to think
about the lapse of time and that I'm on the brink
of going crazy once again now I only sigh
because I found it in myself to tell you goodbye

MM 1992

The Day She Died

Mother Nature told me
you must stop this butchery
my heart is hurting
and my skin is bleeding
My mind is pondering
on my existence threatening
to die before you can save me
so you must start listening

Then I thought
'One man against the world
What good can I do?
If no out there is listening
lay down to die you're through.'

So don't go opening your eyes
or you just might see the light
and don't ever dare defy
lie down and say goodnight

You can build the cities
and you can make the monies
but what do you really have?
When all is gone it's going to be too late
to realize that we've gone mad

So when your children ask you
to tell them about the trees
remember all that's been destroyed
are now memories
Mother Nature, I'm sorry
that your children are so blind
I whispered to her quietly
as she laid down to die

MM 1992

Deadwheeling

I struck the wrong chord in my mind
a chord made out of doubt 
I used my weapons and my resources
I've hung them out to dry
I've lost myself this time

Spiders stagger up the walls of my mind
laid with oil too slick to climb
Much too illogical to believe
Please stay don't leave
I'm sorry if I scared you.

Eye to eye I see through you
you've struck the wrong chord
played this game too long
I still see you sleep
this time on a wooden bed
You lay so still perhaps too much so
but you struck the wrong chord

No it's not okay it's not alright
Subconscious suicide
Deadwheeling again
straight to your grave this time
So much more to see
than what they have shown
I'll never see you again
not this time at least

MM 1992

High Holy Days

Hijacked 

pulpit

entombed in smoke
beggar's hand broadcast 

signs of electric 

snake

Black 

shock 

persecution, hung 

from a cross

high water mark

draining

Bullhorn 

flock
exit en mass
spread righteous 

terror

    Construction path
spike on the road
buzzards circling
combustion debris
mutilated animals, lying 

in route
plastic salvation

ties
    blood-let contribution

God, why

have you led

us this way?

MM 2007

The new season

I’ve got a name and a place,

maybe shame within grace

It’s flowing out of outstretched arms

It’s welling up in a twitch

A gasp that speaks in stoicism,

of tension drenched in cynicism,

bubble-wrapped layers of protection

Cargo dripping with death of supplantation,

out of its element

When things go awry

it’s there waiting outside the door

in conference with its quashed thoughts

Under the table it lies,

ghosts of the dead moments

expressed in an activity report,

quietly brewing up a new plan

to move this spike from the table to the grave

            The new code

MM 6/2013